How Mary Lambert Changed My Life

This past summer, I excitedly told my then-girlfriend about this amazing new song I heard on the radio called “Same Love.” My favorite part of the song was the hook, which rang in my ears like absolute truth. The lyrics, “I can’t change, even if I tried, even if I wanted to,” encapsulated the feelings I had about recently coming out. Little did I know that the woman who sang these lines would have a huge impact on my life. And that woman would be none other than Mary Lambert.

After discovering her YouTube channel, I found that in addition to singing Mary was also a spoken word artist. This is where I discovered one of the most important pieces of spoken word in my life: “I Know Girls (Body Love).” In this piece, Mary speaks of self harm, self love and acceptance, and the constant desire that women have to be wanted. The last two years of my life I have been a huge advocate of body love and acceptance, and this spoken word brought every one of my thoughts and feelings to life. I still can’t listen to it without crying.

As a fat, recently out lesbian, I was a lost girl. I was in the middle of discovering myself, when Mary Lambert entered my life. Finally, a girl who looks like me, a femme lady who bats for the other team, a woman who plays music and sings, just like me!! It was like Jesus himself saw me struggling and then Mary Lambert descended from the heavens as my personal guardian angel. I soon found out that she was touring, and bought tickets to see her perform somewhere in Virginia, only an hour away from my school. I started tweeting about it like mad, which she sometimes retweeted and then eventually, she followed me! I still can’t believe it. But it’s true!

After travelling an hour with my best friend, Grace (who has a super awesome feminist blog), we arrived at the venue. Another wonderful spoken word artist, Andrea Gibson, performed amazingly. But when Mary stepped foot onto that stage and sat down at her piano looking GORGEOUS and amazing I could barely contain myself.

I sobbed uncontrollably during “I Know Girls,” but the best moment of that night was when I finally got to meet her. She hugged me and we talked about how she followed me on twitter. She said she only follows witty people (MARY LAMBERT THINKS I’M WITTY EXCUSE ME WHILE MY HEART EXPLODES). I also gave her the very first scarf I ever crocheted, and bought her CD which she signed and called me ADORABLE. And then hugged me again. And then my soul ascended into heaven because I died.

Since then, Mary has released her song “She Keeps Me Warm,” which is accompanied by the most adorable music video ever. She sang at the Grammys with Madonna, and she is working on her first full length album!

All in all, Mary Lambert has showed me that I am worth much more than I give myself credit. She’s showed me I can do anything I want as a gay, plus-size woman. She’s inspired me to love freely, to chase my dreams, and to say “fuck you” to anyone that gets in my way. And I will never have enough words to thank her for all she’s done for me.

My first tattoo, lyrics from “I Know Girls (Body Love)”